I have now been home for a little over a week, and again am left with the "what now?" feeling that follows these trips. Part of it is a combination of enjoying my bed and a shower and clean drinking water and feeling guilty that I have a comfy bed and running water. It's the feeling of spending so much of my time and energy towards serving others then leaving and coming home... so what now?
After some prayer and a (little) discontentment I realized... excuse me you make your living taking care of other people's sick babies what are you thinking? If I can't find ways to love and serve others at my regular life job as a NICU nurse, I am the problem.
The verses above really reminded me- no matter WHAT I am doing or WHERE I am doing it, if the love of God isn't motivating my actions, they lack meaning and strength. I want my conversations with others, times of prayer and worship, and nights at work to be filled with love. There's a reason Paul identified LOVE as "the greatest of these." This means attitude adjustment. I don't love floating to other units, nor do I love cleaning an incubator from the inside out after a poop explosion (first week back events). But I can prepare my heart to be filled with His love so that these regular life things are done in service to those in my life.
We always talk about how the Peruvian people give so much more to us than we do to them. This is exactly the reason- we can bring our doctors, nurses, missionaries, etc. and spend all day every day working to try to better their lives, but if we have no love behind our actions, we would be nothing. The general daily attitude of so many locals of Piura starts with joy and love. Life moves a little slower, schedules are a little looser, but they genuinely love each other and share that love with us. Can you imagine a stranger stopping you on the street in Milwaukee to kiss you on the cheek and pray with you/talk to you? Probably not.
Many of us are not called to international missions, but that doesn't mean we lack calling. It means we are called to share God's grace and love locally, in our "regular life" jobs. It is so easy for me to become complacent in the routine of punch in-work-punch out-sleep-repeat now that I'm home. My prayer and hope for you and me is that our faith, actions, relationships, and work lives be filled with love. It starts with our hearts, even in the mundane tasks of daily life (because sometimes #meconiumhappens).
Until my next adventure,
Hope
